Bancuri englezesti
A blonde at the grocery store:
- I would like 4 tomatoes, 4 potatoes and 4 onions
- I can help you with the tomatoes and the potatoes, but not with the onions...
- Ok... than I'll have 2 tomatoes, 2 potatoes and 2 onions
- I see you don't understand me: I have tomatoes, I have potatoes, but I have no onions
- I see... than I'll have a tomato, a potato and an onion
- Ok, let's do this the other way around. If you take the "mato" out of the "tomato", what do you have?
- Aaaa... "to"?
- Right, and if you take the "tato" out of the "potato", what do you have?
- Aaaa... "po"?
- Excellent, and if you take the "fuck" out of the "onion", what do you have?
- Aaaa... aaa... but there is no "fuck" in "onion"
- Exactly, there is no fuckin' onion!
A construction worker on the 3rd floor of a building needs a handsaw, and spots another man on the 1st floor. He yells down to him, but the noise makes it impossible to hear anything, so he tries sign language. He points at his eye meaning "I", points at his knee meaning, "need", and moves his hand back and forth in a handsaw motion. The man on the 1st floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, and starts masturbating. The man on the 3rd floor gets so angry he runs down to the 1st floor and shouts: "What the f*ck is wrong with you, idiot? I said I neededa handsaw!" The other guy says: "I knew that, I was just trying to tell you: I'm coming
- I would like 4 tomatoes, 4 potatoes and 4 onions
- I can help you with the tomatoes and the potatoes, but not with the onions...
- Ok... than I'll have 2 tomatoes, 2 potatoes and 2 onions
- I see you don't understand me: I have tomatoes, I have potatoes, but I have no onions
- I see... than I'll have a tomato, a potato and an onion
- Ok, let's do this the other way around. If you take the "mato" out of the "tomato", what do you have?
- Aaaa... "to"?
- Right, and if you take the "tato" out of the "potato", what do you have?
- Aaaa... "po"?
- Excellent, and if you take the "fuck" out of the "onion", what do you have?
- Aaaa... aaa... but there is no "fuck" in "onion"
- Exactly, there is no fuckin' onion!
A construction worker on the 3rd floor of a building needs a handsaw, and spots another man on the 1st floor. He yells down to him, but the noise makes it impossible to hear anything, so he tries sign language. He points at his eye meaning "I", points at his knee meaning, "need", and moves his hand back and forth in a handsaw motion. The man on the 1st floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, and starts masturbating. The man on the 3rd floor gets so angry he runs down to the 1st floor and shouts: "What the f*ck is wrong with you, idiot? I said I neededa handsaw!" The other guy says: "I knew that, I was just trying to tell you: I'm coming
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